Read “The Bury Your Gays Trope Hurts Real Queer People & It Needs to End“ on HerCampus.com.
I’ll never forget what my girlfriend said to me when she and I were talking about LGBTQ+ representation in the media. She said, “I’d never thought beforehand that my mom would have a problem with me coming out. It wasn’t until I read and watched those stories that I started to wonder if maybe, like all those parents, she would kick me out, too.”
This is just one of many problems with LGBTQ+ representation in the media. It’s getting better, and I can’t argue with that. But it’s still not where it needs to be. And people are finally speaking out about that, which makes me both excited and nervous. Excited because maybe, just maybe, it means that people are taking notice of the problem. And nervous because I’m worried it’s just a passing phase, and it won’t sustain the momentum it’s picked up.
Bury Your Gays is a trope that exists across all media. It basically means that LGBTQ+ characters have a tendency to die rather than lead happy lives. In addition to Bury Your Gays, LGBTQ+ characters are often: relegated to the background, fetishized, stereotyped or tokenized, kicked out, abused, beaten and bullied extensively. Queer characters, especially before the 2000s, were likely to be trauma survivors, and to have their trauma closely linked to their queer identity. Their family members shunned them, so they developed mental illnesses and wound up homeless and alone. They committed suicide. They ran away from home.
Why does this matter? I think my girlfriend’s quote just about sums it up. These representations affect real people. They are the only thing we have to cling to when we’re trying to compare our lives to someone else’s. In many situations, such as when a queer person lives in a very small or isolated area, they may not know any other out LGBTQ+ people. The media may be their only solution when it comes to looking for advice and someone to relate to.
Read more here.